Stan tries to make his new atheist friend (Jay Thomas) believe that God exists; Roger convinces Steve that he has been accepted to Hogwarts.
Francine's adoptive parents refuse to assimilate to Stan's ways when they stop by for an unannounced visit; Steve tries to impress the class hottie.
Stan will do anything to stop Hayley from moving to France, and accidentally reveals a secret; Steve and Roger become detectives.
When Stan reveals that he has never actually killed anyone, Roger and the guys become determined to help him land his first target.
Stan is livid when Francine decides to be a surrogate for her gay neighbors; Steve and Roger become recluses when they think that Klaus is out to get them.
Francine comes up with an elaborate plan to reunite Stan and Roger after a big fight; Stan rethinks the way he treats people.
In a spy-movie spoof, Stan must stop a diabolical film producer who abducts celebrities and makes movies that can kill.
Stan's mother comes running to him for support after another one of her boyfriends dumps her out of the blue.
Laura defends Steve at school trial after lab explosion blame.
Carl experiences a nightmare in which Steve and Laura have Urkel look-alike children.
Steve and Carl end up in the ring as substitutes against Luke and Butch of the "Bushwackers" wrestling duo.
Waldo envies Eddie's scholarship; Carl fears a test he must take to get a promotion.
Urkel hiccups after thieves rob him; Laura finds romance.
Urkel tags along on Carl's camping trip; Harriette seeks a job.
Sheldon and Georgie mine for platinum in roadside gravel; Mary is concerned when Missy misuses religion to help with a batting slump.
Meemaw meets Dale's ex-wife, June; Sheldon is forced to work on a group project with reluctant college students.
Sheldon visits the California Institute of Technology for the very first time; Georgie is furious when Mary listens in on a phone call with his girlfriend; Meemaw tries to cheer up a jealous Missy.
Dr. Sturgis is furious when Sheldon accuses him of plagiarism; Mary sets out to find a "girl trophy" for Missy's end-of-season baseball ceremony; Georgie has an awkward run-in with Veronica while on a date with his new girlfriend, Jana.
When George Sr. accidentally lands the school librarian in the hospital, the Cooper family must nurse her back to health; Meemaw gives Georgie relationship advice.
When Sheldon learns the house next door is for sale, he takes it upon himself to find the perfect neighbors; Missy is torn when she's forced to pitch against her boyfriend at the baseball game.
Ross recruits some friends to go with him on his first meeting with Elizabeth's father (Bruce Willis); Phoebe makes Chandler and Monica paranoid by chronicling their every move.
Elizabeth's father (Bruce Willis) threatens to get Ross fired if he does not stop dating his daughter.
Chandler asks Phoebe to help him choose a special ring; Rachel urges Paul (Bruce Willis) to express his feelings.
Monica and Chandler encounter Richard (Tom Selleck), Monica's former boyfriend, in a romantic restaurant.
Monica and Chandler encounter Richard (Tom Selleck), Monica's former boyfriend, in a romantic restaurant.
Monica feels that Rachel is trying to steal the spotlight from her engagement; Chandler worries about his performance in the bedroom.
Monica learns what her parents have done with her wedding fund; Joey teases Rachel about her late-night reading material.
Chandler's efforts to bond with Monica's father (Elliott Gould) backfire during a racquetball game; Rachel tries to teach Joey how to sail; Monica tries to replicate Phoebe's grandmother's cookie recipe.
Rachel considers hiring an inexperienced but handsome man over a better qualified woman as her executive assistant.
Rachel makes her handsome new assistant (Eddie Cahill) hang out with Joey rather than the women in her office.
Monica makes Chandler apologize to an old girlfriend (Stacy Galina) for leaving her because she was fat; Monica struggles to select a maid of honor.
Ross' doctoral dissertation is stored in a remote corner of the university library frequently used by students having sex; Rachel and Phoebe bond with Joey's date (Kristin Davis), then try to convince him to continue seeing her.
Raj faces deportation if he does not find a job; Leonard and Penny deal with Howard as a third wheel.
Sheldon seeks revenge on his nemesis, Wil Wheaton; Wolowitz wants Penny to set him up with one of her friends.
Sheldon teaches Leonard how to understand football; a kite-fighting incident threatens Howard and Raj's friendship.
Sheldon tries to make peace when Leonard and Penny get into an argument.
Penny is forced to rely on Sheldon when she is injured while Howard, Leonard and Raj are away.
After being humiliated on the radio, Sheldon vows to destroy Kripke; Wolowitz tries to not ruin his new relationship with Bernadette.
Sheldon tries to help Penny understand Leonard's work; Wolowitz gets jealous when Leonard starts hanging out with his new girlfriend.
Major League Baseball pregame analysis.
Red-hot Matthew Boyd and the Cubs kick off a three-game series with the Guardians. Boyd (7-3, 2.65 ERA) is 3-1, 1.49 over his last six starts. Cleveland counters with Gavin Williams (5-3, 3.68). The Guardians have won five straight meetings.
Major League Baseball postgame interviews, analysis and highlights.
When Claire and Phil go out with a couple they met on vacation, the Dunphys end up having to pay the bill; Haley, Alex and Luke scramble to come through when Mitchell cashes in a birthday coupon they gave him.
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